Friday, October 15, 2010

I want to become a dog in next birth

FYI: Title is not sarcastic, it has deep feelings attached to it. Only emotional ppl will understand once they read the whole post.

Every person in this world has his own emotional nerve ( I am not talking about emotional atyaachar serial on UTV , BTW that is the most sadist/sickiest serial ever came, don’t know what ppl get by watching that).

My story started on a sunny Sunday afternoon, after a delicious lunch as usual i was on my couch with my fav pose .I call it
"Ouchy COuchy pose"
(some stat - this pose is done by sitting 60% ,standing 30% and sleeping 10%
details - sit on ur couch with legs pointing towards wall in upright position, one hand u got to have remote , in second hand munch some kurkure )..and play with ur remote meanwhile , shouting at ur near and dear ones that don’t come near to me, i won’t give u remote ...

So in this process came across one movie which had Jennifer Aniston ...That’s it...

There are some celebs or ppl who force u to stop ,pause and look towards them in bewilderment , no matter what is coming on other channels. (talking about TV , in reality u stare them , till u are shooed away by some person...)

My list includes ( Sachin tendulkar, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Sharon stone etc etc...).

So as i saw Aniston on Tv ,I started watching that movie and didn't stop till it ended. At the end of it i was all in tears...

I remembered last time that happened to me was when i saw Taare Zammen par...

Oh i didn’t tell u the movie name, The movie name is "Marley and me " based on book by same name. I don’t know if its a fiction story or not.

But to tell what it’s abut - its about a dog named Marley and how "A family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog."

After watching movie i went into deep thinking and realized that my emotional nerve is "love for dog"...

So after watching that movie i logged into imdb and checked some more gud DOG movies. I stumbled upon "Hachi: A Dog's Tale " ,

It’s a true story about a dog in Japan. The output after watching was bucket of tears in my eyes. I mean for last half hour or so i spend gallon of tears watching that movie. I think i haven’t cried that much after my birth.

First thought that came to my mind was. i need to have a dog ASAP.. But practically not possible :(...

I used to have a dog when i was a kid, came back those memories when he used to accompany me to my school everyday. Long walks with my grandfather and him and my cousins every evening...

But there was one problem he used to do "THAT" every now and then and wherever he wanted to...

SO we had to leave him. But wherever we used to leave him, he used to return back. So one day my uncle took him along with him to his office 25 km away. Even then he returned after 2 days. Don’t know how.

So finally we gave him to one person who took him to his village.

I believe Dogs are the best pal for they are not selfish like humans....
SO that’s why that TITLE for my post..

PS: Watch "HAchi" movie, its a must watch , An 8 pointer in IMDB.

Thursday, September 2, 2010


Every person born in this world has some or the other nick name. It gives liberty to their so called near and dear ones to address the person in a convenient and amiable way.

NO i am not writing class V English essay on nicknames here.I realized that for every nickname there is some particular reason , after all Nothing can be created without a reason.
And ppl get nicknames by their friends or enemies or by jealous persons in this world.
and in college one will get coined by such a bad name that u can’t speak that in front of other ppl, i myself have given sum cruel bad names , Ya i can be cruel :P

So i wanted to trace back my nicknames and their reasoning’s. Thankfully i didn’t had one bad nickname which i have to hide... here are most of them.

1) Tinku- As i know this was and is my first nick name, don’t know the exact reason why it was coined but i remember one day i was around 7-8 year old , was watching tv , one movie started and its name was TInku , and i ran to my mother saying mummy look i m in tv ...that’s that and till now my folks call me by this name...

2)LINKS/Lincs/Lincu ( for those who don’t know , my real name is LINCOLN) - This is the second most common name of me , in my school days i was called lincs quite frequently, which used to be followed by LINKS taale ( a Lock brand) , kabhi nahin tootne wale...

3)Kankad ( Means pebble) - I don’t know why one of my friend coined me by this name, but 3-4 school friends used to call me by this name , perhaps they wanted to throw stones at me whenever they used to c me :p

4) RAJAji - when i came to college my seniors coined me RAJA ( as a leader ) of group of my statemates, In my ragging days i had to behave as a RAJA and manage my praja ( followers)..
Got lot of sticking as i used to carried way by the role and used to behave really like RAJA , some slaps from seniors used to bring me back to my actual level

5) Chuha (mouse/rat)- This is another stupid name that i got which my friends tell me tat i got this bcoz i behave like a chuha, i don’t know how but they say i do kuter kuter like a mouse.
And till today i am called by this by close group of friends...( perhaps bcoz i eat wat i will like rest i will leave , for e.g. i will either like cake's top part or bottom part not both of parts ) , similarly i never eat cream biscuits, i will give cream part to my friends and eat non cream part, or if i am eating a samosa - i will leave most part of masala ,

6) TOPi- i recently got this name from one of my roommate, i don’t know the reason but he calls me that.

so that’s the list , i am sure i will have many more nicknames in life, So wat’s ur fav nickname of urs ?????

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Maid Syndrome

We Indians are damn lucky that a normal lower class person can afford services of another human being to do his/her daily housework....We call it maid/servant

When i was in 11th/12th standard my school timing was a bit late. My bro and sis used to wake up too early for they have to catch school bus and go far far away....
Our maid used to come early in those times .My mother used to wake me up early so that my room can get cleaned. And I used to be like Let me sleep first then do whatever u want to do but NOOOOO , so i used to spend rest of my morning on Sofa

As in most of the households CLEANING is the most important thing that should happen and rest of the stuff like (eating, sleeping, playing etc etc ) takes backseat. And if u r home on sunday u have to constantly switch from one room to other so that ur so called HOUSE can get completely cleaned.... suckssss

Coming back to current state, since i started working i am living with friends of mine and for bachelors Maid is like Kaamdev baba or Saraswati mata of cleaning (safai). If she is not there than our houses would have been worse than that found in front of each city's railway station.

In most of the bachelor houses it so happens that one person will open the door for Maid in morning, she will do all cleaning and by the team she finishes, rest of the inmates will still be in sleep mode, while going she will wake one of the inmates to close the door. What happened, how it happened, who did no one cares....

It used to so happen that we got one new maid for our home, and at that time one of my friend used to go to office late, so maid used to come around 9 or 10 am , clean the house and go . SO it so happened that she didn’t saw my friend's face for 3-4 months.

One saturday she complained to me and my other friends "bhaiya , aap unko uthate kyun nahin , maine unki shakal nahin dekhi 4 mahine ho gaye ".....And then we shouted
"XYZ ,teri muh dikhayee ka samay aa gaya hain bachhe Uth jaa " After making repeated attempts of waking him up, he finally came out of his bedroom, The maid said "SO glad to finally see u " (Translated in English here )....And he replied Ya Same Here

Now why i m writing this Maid syndrome , well it so happened that I bought new tooth brush recently. Next day I didn’t find it, and it sucks when u dont have ur toothbrush . Next day i bought a new one and next day again i lost . And i really got pissed off , bcoz no one was at home for two days so only reason i could think of "Maid must have taken it "... PPl may think why this cheap thinking, well its not my fault its the only reason i could come up.And why i thought in that manner, well that has another story which is below..

2 years back we group of friends were sitting and watching tv. One of my friend comes in a furious manner, lets call him S

S:Again it happened.
We: what ??
S: I have lost it again

We: what have u lost wallet/ATM?
S: NO, one of my New UG is missing

We: look around u will find it , must have been mixed with someones else.
S: no i looked around, couldn’t find it.

We: Chk our neighbors ( BTW that had 4 girls living there ) gallery , U know its a male UG must have got attracted to female one's and flew next gallery ..U know opposites attract

S: hahaha oh shut up, I am thinking it must be our MAid

We: Wat>?? why will maid steal ur UG

S: well sometimes she washes my clothes, must have stolen ...that’s my thinking

WE: oh u r sick minded , why will she steal ur UG , she doesn’t steal a single rupees from our purses even though our purse has so much cash and she easily has access to all of them as we sleep like Guinea PIGs while she cleans the house....

S: I dont know, i have that feeling, i have lost 3 UG in one week. tats too much

WE: ok , Lets assume that she steals ur UG, but what will she do with it , U know that ur ass errr rrr sorry ur waist is too bigger for her to fit in....
one crazy person : kahin tujh par marti to nahin wo , hey bhagwan kya zamana aa gaya hain abhi tak to ladke tharki hote suen the maid par ab maid bhi tharki hone lag gayee maaliko par, ram ram

S: oh shut up , it might be that she is taking so that it can be used by her family members..

We: Wallah tera CID dimaag , thats wat her work is too steal guys UG from each apartment , give them as a birthday gift to her relatives ...give us a break and stop mourning....

S: well i am telling u, beware anyone can be targeted next

Well till today the mystery of missing UG's is not solved . SO u see why i thought that my brush can be stolen by my maid...

Monday, June 14, 2010

Fifa world Cup 2010 :My Notes

1) First and foremost I would like to someone to order an enquiry as to why there is such a pathetic noise of murmuring mosquitoes in all the soccer matches.

I mean ppl say "there is buzz in the stadium" for the fans enthusiasm and their adrenaline Rushing hoopla , but no one asks for BUZZER, that too continuous streaming of shrieking noise in all the matches. It’s like all African mosquitoes are trying to mate in stadium and sound/Noise is the byproduct. Looks like , they are following the footsteps of hookers around the world and flocking towards South Africa. (BTW those buzzers are called as VuvuZuela Trumpets)

2) I fear, what if i get bored by continues watching of football over a month and loose interest by the time world cup reaches semi finals. (It happened to me in IPL)

3) I really like the camera work in world cup. It’s the best i have seen, technically it’s awesome.
Wish in cricket too ICC get good technical team for the next world cup in India.

4) These days I find it interesting to listen to different country’s national Anthem .And I like America's and SA's a lot. Wish one day we can hear India's too in World Cup Football .SIGHHH

5) I wonder why there are no Cheer leaders in Football. In every sport they have ventured into.
One day will come when Chess too will have cheer leaders....But then who will concentrate on Animals and Pawns :)

6) I wish to see French women's Vs Venezuela/Brazil football match. It should be and will be HOTTT ;)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The daily hate book...

1) I hate when my house-maid switches off the fan in morning for her brooming business.And after doing all her stuff she won’t turn the switch on and go away. oh that is so irritating...

2) I hate when ppl will be online for hours and after saying hi, they won’t even respond. At least say I am busy or I don’t have time for u. Bcoz as a software engineer i keep on thinking it might be some software bug also or he/she must be using MEEBO that is making them online even though they are not .Too much i say

3) I hate when ppl make me wait to have my food on time. I normally go to lunch in office at 1:00 pm. There is this colleague of mine who normally takes lunch with me. He goes to bathroom at exactly same time every day. How can that happen? I don’t understand have told him 100 times u go at 12:30, 12:45 why every time 1:00 pm. DO something, change ur water habits but don’t go at 1:00 pm but he won’t suckssss

4) I hate when ppl say “Thanks” for every small things in life and then I have to be phony with words like no problem, welcome......blah blah

5) I hate when every day I have to smile and greet ppl in office numerous number of times, I mean I just smiled few hours ago, if that was not greeting what it is!!!!! But I have to smile again,

6)i hate when i have switch off my room light in night after I go to my bed. why cant i do it with my phone or with remote . ( i stay in rented house so logistics problem otherwise that is the first thing i would want in my own bed room )

7) These days bathroom etiquettes are getting on my nerves. My new roommate , he will take shower with pot lid's top in resting state, and when i enter bathroom it will be all wet , so frustrating.

8) This is related to my gym stuff - i hate when ppl leave their sweating signature on some gym machine and don’t care about the next person who is in queue.

9)I hate when ppl say too much bye bye stuff, oh come on u want to go , go quickly, stop wasting time in useless meaningless bye byes

10)i hate that ALLOUT stuff ( that is the worst product ever made in mankind) which is still successful. No mosquito has any effect whatsoever and to mock the machine they even mate in front of that machine.

so thats all about my hateness stuff, rest all things i like :)

so wats ur hateness quotient??

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

whats in a name!!! I do have a problem

Today heard that another cyclone is hitting shores of india , and this time it is "LAILA"
I mean what the hell, why every time a cyclone comes it is termed after a female???Isn’t sexist?

I have complain here, why is it that NCW not taking action again meteorological department!! OH I see how can they come out in this sultry heat, their bodies will get tanned but they can do some advertisements for some sun screen lotion!!!
In my view they should torture Meteorological department members or do DHARNA on roads that stop making fun of lovely ladies and terming them cyclonic (Read barbaric).

Today it’s Katrina, Laila next they may say Neha, Pooja, Rashmi than half of Indian girls will be cyclonic. Imagine the chaos it will bring to society. Then every second girl in India will be connected with some or other cyclone.

After doing some research on this matter i found out that meteorological department even take suggestions on naming cyclones from ppl. Any taker for this????????? If given a chance, i would name "rakhi sawant", "shooparnakha" or "lady gaga".
A meeting in 2000 in Muscat was held on naming tropical cyclones in the Bay of Bengal and the Arabian Sea.

The names the countries in the panel suggest are sequenced in such a way that each country gets a chance to have its suggested name used.

Prior to Aila, which means dolphin, suggested by the Maldives, there was ‘Bijli’ of India( who came up with this must have seen lot of c grade movies or must have been a fan of "babuji dheere chalo bijli khadi song -") . Before that, there was ‘Nisha’ from Bangladesh ( didn’t knew bangladeshi’s are huge Madhuri fan !!!!!).

Best is from our beloved neighbor Pakistan
They had Fanoos and Nargis and proposed Nilofar, Titli and Bulbul for the unseen and unknown devastators..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( Titli , bulbul !???????, imagination ki haad hain, why can’t they come up with chick, hen , sparrow)

I strongly object this blasphemous, objectionable naming of cyclones on the name of girls .They should start naming Indian boys as well, some of them can be Rahul , Raj , Aditya , Aamir 

But as Usual US is far ahead in terms of dealing these things, they have come up with a list for next few years and that has male and female names alternately so that no one gets offended


PS : I am not sexist or MCP , although i hate feminists :P

Friday, April 16, 2010

Food for thought!!!

No i am not in mood to give some gyaan over here, already ppl have access to so much of literary material which ranges from current Sania-Sohrab honeymoon plans to Tharror Sugandha or sunanada pre engagement adventures( don’t want to remember the lady name , though she must be a hotty in the past)...

Fooding ( i don’t think this word exist ) , semantically speaking eating is my 2nd fav past time err i think 3rd , no it will be fourth , oh damn it who cares, point is I love it.
Today I remember couple of instances which i thought were funny....

Instance -1

One day I went to one restaurant nearby office. I went with my friend in one hot summer afternoon and was munching on my way; I saw one guy coming inside the restaurant.

Guy:Sir jee, plz pack 3 buffet meals:

Restaurnat Managar : are Sir jee abhi lo ( meaning in few minutes it will be ready)

Guy: You know Last time when i took the parcel i found few cockroaches inside the rice

My Reaction: my god, aaj to ladai hogi , it will be fun....

Restaurant Manager: taken back, NO SIr jee u can have a look today there are no cockroaches in our food. It’s pretty clean.

Guy: ya ok , check it thoroughly and then parcel it

MY Reaction : I was dumbfounded on hearing the conversation, I laughed like hell , I mean that guy is paying huge amount for the food and the manager didn’t even apologized or confronted him about his last parcel. That sir u must be having a mistake, we serve quality food here. Blah blah
And even after getting such kind of food that guy is visiting again....And the manager was like you can check our kitchen also no cockroaches are there , we have cleaned them up.....WTF

That was enough and i asked my friend let’s leave this place otherwise i will puke....

Instance -2

Couple of year ago , i was in Chennai and was going out for Team lunch. We went to one nice restaurant on ECR road...The drive is sexy over there...

So after reaching, we ordered normal veg and non veg food.

One of my friend while tasting some panner curry ( BTW He was Punjabi),,,said to waiter This paneer is so sour, so yucky. What kind of food is this...

Waiter : I don’t know sir , usually we won’t eat PAneer here , we eat outside!!!!!!

And i was like wattttt!!!!!!

Instance 3:

There used to be canteen in our college which served great parathas.
Only hostel ppl will understand the pain of having good fun in life.
There might be a chance that a hosteller will avoid a hot date just to have a gud food ( It happened...and happens..)

So one day one of my batch mate went to that canteen, had gr8 food .As he was about to leave, he was confronted by canteen supervisor.

And FYI every shop owners know every regular college mate, its like a bondage...

Supervisor: That was XX bucks.

Friend: Ya I know, i read the chart.

Supervisor: So...

Friend: Oh ya, U see, i dont have money

Supervisor: $%&** (hot boiling expression), oh ok u can pay it afterwards...

Friend: No I cant pay it.

Supervisor: ya i understand u can’t pay it now , pay it afterwards...

Friend: Are bhaiyya bola naa paisa nahin hain , nahin de paaunga....... And he leaves...

Supervisor: sees the guy leaving..... Mumbling in his mouth wait.....listen...but no one was there to listen his voice.....