Food for thought!!!

No i am not in mood to give some gyaan over here, already ppl have access to so much of literary material which ranges from current Sania-Sohrab honeymoon plans to Tharror Sugandha or sunanada pre engagement adventures( don’t want to remember the lady name , though she must be a hotty in the past)...

Fooding ( i don’t think this word exist ) , semantically speaking eating is my 2nd fav past time err i think 3rd , no it will be fourth , oh damn it who cares, point is I love it.
Today I remember couple of instances which i thought were funny....


Instance -1

One day I went to one restaurant nearby office. I went with my friend in one hot summer afternoon and was munching on my way; I saw one guy coming inside the restaurant.

Guy:Sir jee, plz pack 3 buffet meals:

Restaurnat Managar : are Sir jee abhi lo ( meaning in few minutes it will be ready)

Guy: You know Last time when i took the parcel i found few cockroaches inside the rice

My Reaction: my god, aaj to ladai hogi , it will be fun....

Restaurant Manager: taken back, NO SIr jee u can have a look today there are no cockroaches in our food. It’s pretty clean.

Guy: ya ok , check it thoroughly and then parcel it

MY Reaction : I was dumbfounded on hearing the conversation, I laughed like hell , I mean that guy is paying huge amount for the food and the manager didn’t even apologized or confronted him about his last parcel. That sir u must be having a mistake, we serve quality food here. Blah blah
And even after getting such kind of food that guy is visiting again....And the manager was like you can check our kitchen also no cockroaches are there , we have cleaned them up.....WTF

That was enough and i asked my friend let’s leave this place otherwise i will puke....

Instance -2

Couple of year ago , i was in Chennai and was going out for Team lunch. We went to one nice restaurant on ECR road...The drive is sexy over there...

So after reaching, we ordered normal veg and non veg food.

One of my friend while tasting some panner curry ( BTW He was Punjabi),,,said to waiter This paneer is so sour, so yucky. What kind of food is this...

Waiter : I don’t know sir , usually we won’t eat PAneer here , we eat outside!!!!!!

And i was like wattttt!!!!!!

Instance 3:

There used to be canteen in our college which served great parathas.
Only hostel ppl will understand the pain of having good fun in life.
There might be a chance that a hosteller will avoid a hot date just to have a gud food ( It happened...and happens..)

So one day one of my batch mate went to that canteen, had gr8 food .As he was about to leave, he was confronted by canteen supervisor.

And FYI every shop owners know every regular college mate, its like a bondage...

Supervisor: That was XX bucks.

Friend: Ya I know, i read the chart.

Supervisor: So...

Friend: Oh ya, U see, i dont have money

Supervisor: $%&** (hot boiling expression), oh ok u can pay it afterwards...

Friend: No I cant pay it.

Supervisor: ya i understand u can’t pay it now , pay it afterwards...

Friend: Are bhaiyya bola naa paisa nahin hain , nahin de paaunga....... And he leaves...

Supervisor: sees the guy leaving..... Mumbling in his mouth wait.....listen...but no one was there to listen his voice.....

Shopping fun!!

So it was the day when i had to go for shopping, not any xyz shopping but it was for our friend who was getting married. So after various intriguing session among friends we came to conclusion that since we haven't planned/bought any gift for our friend, it would be lame if we go empty handed. It was decided that we will give K**** book along with some C****.Then the real thing came that who will bell the cat; i mean who will go and buy these things. Inadvertently I and one of my friend were given task of buying C**** and another two got the task of buying K*** book.
It was not about not being comfortable to buy C**** but more about Why we only have to leave the AC room and go in such sultry heat , why not rest of them....But destiny ....

SO I and my friend left the hotel where we were staying and started looking for med shop.To our horror we found out that after walking for 15 mins in the market, still there were no signs of it. Finally after walking a km or so we found one small med shop.

Scene -1
My friends went to have a puff and asked me to do the honors.
I : Exploring the shop with my keen eyes to find the so called C*** gift, looked onto the glass counter that normally has these stuffs. I was surprised to find nothing. I mean no signs of any C*** of any brands whatsoever. Then i started looking into the entire shop but even after staring towards every shelf and counter i couldn't saw any. I said to myself, this is crazy. I have been to numerous Med shops and as soon as you land on Med shop, it’s right there in front of you. One need not say anything, one can just point and buy it. It’s as easy as it gets.
The Med shop owner was busy with some customer, so he didn’t looked at my detective glances, otherwise he would have thought i might do burglary in his shop tonight.
just i was Feeling bemused i was interrupted by my friend :

Friend : So bought them ?
I : He doesn’t have any!!!
Friend : What do u mean he doesn’t have, its a Med shop it has to have?
I : I dont know i looked around but couldn’t find any?
Friend : Lets ask him...
I : i don’t understand if he has, he has to show to sell it right??, anyways u ask
Friend to shopkeeper: DO u have C*** .
Shopkeeper : Ya , here they are , opening a small case sort of shelf having assorted platter of C****.
I and Friend: Oh tats Gold.
Friend: SO what do u think how many we should buy?
I : Not sure , how long is the honeymoon period, The stock should last till then otherwise it might lead to embarrassing situation. Imagine postponing the heated moment in honeymoon period bcoz u don’t have resources!!!!
Friend: Ya that would be bad!! I think close to a week.
I: ok lets take 4 packs , even if he does twice a day it would be sufficient
Friend: Twice a day for whole week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I : Never underestimate the desire/lust/greed/love .
Friend: Haan He has yearned for so longggg… and what flavors....
I: AHMM good question, What do u think?
Friend: I think strawberry will be good,
I : Ya ok, and ya chocolate flavour too , he is fond of choco feast icecream
Friend : wat weird logic????!!! Anyways ok and remaining two:
I : lets ask shopkeeper, So any new advancements or flavors you have??
Shopkeeper : With a weird look , The box has it all,u can select from it!!!
Friend : All right , give two dotted ones and two non -dotted. That should finish our shopping.
Shopkeeper : all right then that will be 100 bucks

I & friend : My goodness , now we know why ppl are crying inflation ,inflation, If rubbers have become so costly forget about the other things ..........

As we were returning, talking how we will pass these precious gifts to our friend today in evening, with the gifts in my right hand , I dropped the poly bag accidently and while i was collecting them and standing saw too girls staring at my so called gifts, I was about to say " Luckily/unluckily these are not for me !!!!" but smirked and moved on!!

The evening was fun, My so called Friend who's wedding we came to attend was filled with Gift packets in each of his coat pockets and trouser's also . He was standing on stage with his "hone wali wife" with pocket full of C***. He was sweating a lot , i dont know bcoz of Lights or bcoz of situation. ON top of it he got another gift from us "The famous Kam**** book”. Imagine a groom standing with his wife on stage in front of thousand ppl with K** book in his hand.

AS an afterthought i thought what if in some marriage no friend/relative gives the C* gift to the groom. I mean what if everyone forgets it and he also forgets it to buy .Imagine his wife sitting in front of him and just before he is about to begin she asks " DO u have c*" if not then forget it !!!!!! IF The night of the marriage is so Rocking then for whole life trouble will be knocking......

When i got a Pinkyy Eye

Me : Reading those letter in cube that eye doctors have, feeling elated i can still read all the lines except last one
Dr: So wats ur problem?
Me : I am crying since 2 days , sobbing
Dr: Why? did S1 one broke ur Heart ?
Me : Thinking (Who made him opthamologist? My Manager recognized that i have some problem in my eyes from 3 meter and this doctor is saying heart!!!.&**%%%....)

No , since yesterday morning after i woke up , my eyes are leaking water....

Dr: Oh!!!hmm , not a problem

Me: With no intention of crying, my eyes are draining water more than I drink daily and this person is saying no Problem!!!
Continuing the conversation - But u see no pain is there and this phenomena is occurring only in one eye

Dr: Thats even better , You have got "pinki eye" !!!

Me: PINKYYY wat? I have heard Pinkyy toe wats Pinkky eye?

Dr: Viral conjunctivitis, a viral infection...

Me: oh , hmm , That doesn’t require injection right? ( I feel molested at sheer idea of an unknown female nurse giving me pain in my B*** ).

Dr: No , eye drops will be sufficient!!!

ME : ok , gud...

Dr: Take this eye drop once in two hour time period in one eye and four times in other eye...

Me : U mean every two hours once right?

Dr: No at an interval of 1 hour

ME : Thinking (Wat *%&%& , I will take according to my feeling , can’t discuss much with this moron) Ok ya thanks, About to leave...
Dr: SO where were u last week?

Me : Shocked !!!Thinking how he knows? Was he the person whom i pushed in AC compartment last week,,,, Immmm m.... I was out of station why???

Dr: You got this infection from some other town,,,,

Me : Ya went to beach as well , (cleaning my watery eyes), U think
sea water would have given this ?

Dr: Definitely!!!

Me : hmm, :( ok , but i will be all right i suppose in couple of days

Dr: Yups u will be!!!

Left the clinic and on my way back thinking, it is more than 7 days and infection is occurring now , there must be some other reason, Then Bingo my mind lightened up....

On Sunday I went to watch "The Blue MUG" play with my friends....And on next morning i had this Pinkiiness, hmmm i got the Reason of the whole story,,,,

And the Reason was too much of eye tonic.....Yes it makes perfect sense...
When we arrived there to watch the Play, it was as if we have boarded a Mumbai/Delhi flight and landed in some of the High society auditorium.

As one of my friend had put “It was a CLASSY " crowd. There were girls and girls and girls , and everyone was so pretty and beautiful , Me and my friends were shocked , it has been three years and we haven’t seen this type of thing, not even in High Class Pubs here .I could see girls smoking in the arena but no sight of guys doing that( When a girl smokes she looks so sexy to me but at the same time disgusting)..

SO the moral of the story is: "Too much of sustained exposure to eye tonic can lead to Pinkyyy Eye"...

Past tense

I wrote this in someone's comment section on a blog an year before , when i read it again i liked it so posting here....

I still look to u in the same way as i looked at first sight , its just that i have become more passionate which makes me strangeI still feel the warmth in your soft spoken voice, I still flirt with u but my ways have become more mature and misunderstandings are part of relationship which makes it strong in harder times,I do have the trust in my eyes as i had before, i can still feel the sensuous touch of your when i first hugged you, whenever u see the distance between us, just close your eyes and u can feel me in your arms, the distance is physical and not emotional,i haven't left you in midway, i have gone to fulfill my responsibilities , i will return to u with my arms open,just wait for me , the separation will end soon....

Randomness

Notes: Phone charging has become such a necessity that People skip sleeping just because they want to charge phone in trains...

While watching in awe at pictures in Konark Temple, I blurted out to my friends: Look there is a picture of foursome, only to be stopped by giggling of a girl who was just behind me. I could have made a pass to her but sadly she was with her BF posing against the backdrop of artistic pictures...

I was wondering if this is Konark then how Khajuraho will look like. Did king gave any directions for all those poses or he gave free hand to sculptures, do whatever ur dirty mind think, no stopping....

Also the thought came to my mind that ppl in BC's and early AD's were more open minded, don’t know what culture creeped into ours which has made our society like this...European culture isn’t even close.I mean they must have thought why do technological advancement/medical improvements, all these are materialistic pleasures. We will focus solely on human emotions and focus on NIRVANA and hence these paintings.....

As someone said some of the poses can’t be done even by Russian gymnasts. If a normal person tries he will be in bed permanently for years.

I think our education system needs to have some education on "How to keep ur surroundings clean" and also a course on "Common sense" . I don’t know why I hate Psychology, is it the spelling or fear of psychopathic thoughts but I think society needs “Common sense” subject rather than “Psychology”.

PS: There are no dirty ( In terms of cleanliness )ppl than Indians in whole planet....

Few commandments i wish to have for my marriage:

1) No Photographer will be allowed within 100 meters of marriage's arena. If they are seen violating this, their equipments will be confiscated and ripped apart. PPl with camera Phones are allowed but no one will be allowed to ask me for Posing. PPL can ask Bride i don’t mind ;))

2) No ghoda/ghodi for me. I prefer a bullock cart its fun to ride one or even a Jugaad will be gud.( Those of u who don’t know Jugaad hint : its a vehicle try googling :P)

3) While my Funeral oops marriage procession is on, i want to have my phone with me so that i can play games or do browsing. I don’t want to listen to songs as i don’t want to look casual on the day of my marriage: P

4) I don’t want to give joota chupana money/gift just like that. I want to hide my joota/jooti with or without socks myself and want PPL to do some hard work for finding it.

5) I want to taste food whatever is made first myself then i want everyone to have it. Its my day I should be the one who should decide what to do isn’t and if i didn’t find fud gud, i will go to some nice restaurant nearby ,finish my appetite and then come. :P

6) No return gifts on my marriage. It’s my day why i should give ppl gifts. And if ppl don’t have cash, then i want to say that i accept Sodexho coupons: P. And i know there will be many friends of mine who live on credit card, so i will have one credit card machine where every card will be allowed. So one needn't worry i can swipe in and give ppl receipt back ;)

7) I will surely bribe Pandit so that he will conduct lesser and lesser pooja's. ( I pity on girls whose name is Pooja) . It’s such a pain to do some or other pooja after every half an hour.

My rusted mind only thought 7 commandments , will think of making it ten:)

What it feels like to be in Luv

Some quotes :

It feels like a sonic boom... everyone around you can feel that love. It's like your heart ripped open your rib cage and set itself free. The world is at your feet and your confidence sores. It feels like a warm blanket wrapped around you. Logic is no longer at play.

For him/her, one sacrifice's own happiness to make him/her happy. Love is irrational, love is believing in the present and the future. Love is trust, breathtaking, overwhelming in every way. It's the thing that gives life truly meaning. And when you've found that person, you feel complete.

You know you're in love when you can trust them to take your heart into? their hands and care for it.And even though you're scared they might break it, you let them keep it anyway.

Love is when you can fight with some one and say the mean things that hurts them the most and still be forgiven or when you kiss them and you know that is the kiss you want for the rest of your life.

When you know that no one else gets you the way he/she does. When you still get butterflies in your tummy when you hear his/her name after years of being together. To be able to just sit with each other and know deep down? that as long as you are together everything else will fall into place.

It feels like? we could lie in bed all day and let the universe float around us.


The heart starts at the bottom and makes a point. It then splits further and further as it goes longer up. At the point where the lines look like they can't come back together.Then completely do a 180 degree turn and become 1.

True love is when you want to share everything with someone, feelings, emotions, good times bad times, material possessions, sex, dreams and aspirations, you would jump a bullet for them, all their faults are beautiful and they feel the same way you do.A real two way connection.

Love feels euphoric, comfortable, home, appreciating, accepting, heavenly.


You need to be close to that person, you love him/her as he/she is.You don't compare with others and you feel right, content and satisfied.Love feels like you can't get that person out of your head,and sometimes no matter how much he/she gets on your nerve, you still wants to be with him/her.


Love only can show, but can't talk. Love is giving, love is being patient, love is waiting, love is earning, love is wishing, love is desiring, love is accepting,
love is everlasting that something you just show by doing it but never ever say it or show it.

True love is when you find the ultimate peace of mind and soul in the arms of somebody, it is caring for the other person more than caring about yourself, is when your heart beats one million times when seeing him/her,it is when you want to be born live and die in their hands,

Love is when your soul is in a peace with yourself and the world, it is when you just think about the other person, want their happiness and satisfaction,

Love is when you see his smile you feel that life is smiling at you and then you forget all pains of the world.


PS: none of them are mine ;)